10 Helpful Hints for Memoir Writing

by William C. Mills

So, you want to write a memoir. You want to share your deepest and most intimate thoughts about family, faith, marriage, and child rearing with the rest of the world. You’re not alone. Now more than ever bookstore shelves are filled with memoirs from famous and not so famous people. So what is stopping you from writing your life-story? Here are ten helpful suggestions to help you with your memoir writing.

1. Read a lot of memoirs. Try these on for starters: Patricia Hampl's The Florists Daughter, Mary Karr Lit's Cherry and The Liar’s Club, Thomas Lynch's Booking Passage, Frank McCourt's Teaching Man, Annie Dillard's An American Childhood, James McBride's The Color of Water, Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, and Abigail Thomas' A Three Dog Night.
2. Many literary magazines and writing journals publish “short memoirs” which are between 2-5K words, what I call “slices of life.” The following publications usually contain memoir writing: Memoir (and), The Writer, Writing Digest, Poets and Writers, and the Paris Review.
3. Enroll in a memoir-writing course. Ask your local librarian or bookstore manager if they know of local writing centers or groups, they are always eager to help.
4. Read some “how to” books about memory and memoir writing. Two of my favorite books are Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg and William Zinsler's Writing About Your Life. Check online for other resources.
5. Start a memoir journal. I am not good at keeping a daily diary, but I do keep a writing journal where I write down thoughts, ideas, or themes that I want to work on at a later date. Begin simply by looking at the “cast of characters” in your life and write down their physical attributes and personality traits, here are a few traits of my own mother: blue flowered housecoat, pink slippers, Jean Nate cologne, Ladies Home Journal, tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches on white bread, polka music, coupons, workaholic, diabetic; I think you get the point! Writing a list of descriptors will then trigger other memories, which then you can jot down.
6. Browse antique stores and Goodwill Stores. What does antiquing have to do with writing your memoir? A lot actually. A few months ago my wife and I were browsing through a Goodwill and memories were triggered when I saw the metal Star Wars lunchbox that I used in elementary school, the Barry Manilow vinyl LP that mom played on the green record player in our living room, and the brown polyester plaid shirts that I wore in fifth grade. Make sure to write down these memories as soon as you get home.
7. Look at lots of family pictures and videos. Recently I was looking back at some of my school pictures and I saw faces of friends who I totally forgot about. Looking at pictures is also good for a laugh too!
8. Listen to music that was popular during your youth. Whenever I find an 80’s radio station tons of memories come flooding back to me. I grew up in the MTV generation so all of those songs are lodged in my brain as videos too: Michael Jackson dancing the Moon Walk, the groups Poison and Motley Crew dressed in leather pants and tight shirts, Madonna wearing her white wedding gown singing “Like a Virgin.”
9. Talk to friends or close relatives about your family memories. Very often siblings or parents will have different versions of the same event. Talk about what you remember and see what they say.
10. As you write, don’t worry whether or not your memoir gets published in a magazine or book form. That comes later! The process of writing your memoir is therapeutic. It is good to reflect on your life. Enjoy these memories and savor them. After all, this is your life -- go write it!
    

Good luck and happy writing!

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William (Bill) Mills is an ordained priest in the Eastern Orthodox Church, author and retreat leader. His new book, A 30 Day Retreat: A Personal Guide to Spiritual Renewal was recently published by Paulist Press in May. For more information about Bill and his writings visit his website and his blog, Walking With God. Bill is available as a retreat leader for various Christian themes and topics. He is also the author of Our Father: A Prayer for Christian Living. Bill's memoir-in-progress is tentatively titled, Losing My Religion.